I Decided...Part 1

Lol...there is not part 2, but I jus wanted 2 say that cuz of the obvious lol.  But anyhoo...I decided. And I decided that I want him in mah life.  I jus can't be without him.  And I kno it sounds crazy for someone so young and all that he has put me thru. But, I guess that wen you kno...you kno.  And if anyone has ANYTHING to say about it. Well...they can talk 2 themselves, cuz I ain't hearing it.  Yes and I think needless 2 say, if he screws up again it WILL be it.  And I mean that with tha utmost. And I think he understands that better than anyone.  It didn't take long at all 4 him 2 change it around.  I definitely notice it.  And it's crazy cuz he's still where he is and I'm still here, but jus talkin 2 him, I can tell.  But, all I can do is w8 and see.  I think he gets it this time.  Cuz there was a point wen I was definitely like, "No, I'm done." I guess thas wat scared him ish-less.  And thas wen he went on that whole drinkin binge.  And even after that, I was kinda like I don't really want this anymore.  But, it came 2 me so clear one day.  I think listening to a Keri Hilson song, "Where Did He Go?" In the song she talks about how she made a mistake in letting him go and she had to deal with that decision years later and now she's missing him.  I didn't want that to be me.  I can't let that be me.  Cuz regardless of the bull.  I kno wat I felt and I kno wat was real.  I kno that our love was without a doubt, real! So, yea...I decided.  And even tho we're not technically together, he's still mah heart.  The very piece that completes me.  I love him...more than that simple 3 worded phrase cud ever express. He is mah all.

Umm...besides that. Still very much saved and in love with God...FIRST AND FOREMOST.  I think that the breakup allowed me to become much closer to Him.  I don't wanna leave him out of my life anymore.  Thas wen things start to go wrong.  But, yea...I definitely don't have the urge 2 jus WANNA go party and drink or wateva else.  I'm so very over that.  For those who party, more power to you.  Not knocking it for you, it jus ain't for me!

I'm in love with mah life right now.  Not very many ppl can say that.  Most are fronting like they are really happy, but they're hiding it with something else.  I can genuinely say that I am content with mah life.  With the homebody that I am and not needing anything else than wat I have! In a few more months, mah love will be able 2 move up here with me for good, I'm trusting and believing in God to make this happen in the music industry for me, and me and mah ma are closer than ever.  It's a great time 4 me.  And I kno that it will only continue to go up! yep!!

To BE...Mrs. Amillie.

Always and forever. Ain't no one takin that from me!