I DID IT!!!!!

2moro's tha day...

Sooooo...I guess it's time I officially start tha long road 2 mah song writing career. I'm gonna go 2 an open mic night. I'm goin by mahself bcuz I dnt think any of mah frenz wud cum, so that jus adds 2 the worry in mah heart. I swear mah heart is in mah stomach & I'm not evn there. I jus gotta get ova mah nervousness of singing in front of ppl I dnt kno. Mah only thing is I'm by mahself. I dnt have tha safety net of sum1 else b'n there wit me. It's jus me in tha most vulnerable spot. And tha wat if's of "wat if I'm not good enuff?" "Wat if they dnt like mah music???" Wat if? I dnt kno. I kno it's meant 4 me...but it wnt happen until I get out there & go get it. Soooo...I'm goin...finally. Better l8 than neva, right?? Yea...

~*~mrs. Amillie~*~

Jus Gotta Make It...

So I dnt think I've eva wanted anything more than 2 make it as a writer. After all mah yrz tryna escape it & do sum'n different, I finally embraced it & took it as "this is wat God has 4 me 2 do..." I mean I'm good @ it...He's definitely blessed me wen it cumz 2 that facet of mah life...but it jus seems so hard!

I honestly haven't tha faintest as where 2 start. I feel so helpless wen it cumz 2 that. U kno most ppl got ppl in tha industry. Or ppl who kno ppl who kno ppl....who kno ppl. I ain't even 1 of those. Sad I kno...but I was browsing tha web, giving mah search engine a little excercise and this 1 guy {rly can't remember his name, but I guess he's a good source} he sed pretti much u jus gotta get out there & do it. And as much stagefright as I have wen it cumz 2 letting ppl n2 mah most vulnerable place--mah writing--I gotta do it, I gotta get over it so mah songz can be heard.

Tha reason y I haven't dun anything yet is bcuz i'm so f'n afraid of failure & I kno I shud'n be cuz failure shud'n evn be an option but also it was prophesied ova me that God wanted 2 use mah voice! And 4 most that wud hav given them tha runnin start 2 do wat they wanted cuz it jus frightened me more. I'll get ova it...I gotta l8 start...but betta l8 than neva...I'm only 22 as of tha present lol!

I guess tha only thing standing between me & mah blessing was...well...me! Isn't that most often tha case?

**sighs**

Well...I guess 2moro starts officially tha day ya girl gets about herz! Finally is all I can say...I'm sooooo relieved!!

~*~Mrs. Amillie~*~

Best Mix of 2009...

So this is tha cd i keep on play in mah car @ tha moment. And it's so good I honestly dnt think anotha mic cd I make will top it.

So here it iz:

1. Birthday Sex - Jeremih
Ok...so dude is a chicago artist & u kno since thas where mah boo is 4rm then he keeps me posted on all the hot chi songz. And this 1 iz definitely a winner. Oh & tha vid id f'n hilarious!!! :-)

2. Circus - Britney Spears
So plz dnt h8 on Britney. I'm so glad she got herlife 2gether & bac on tha chartz. And she did it right cuz "womanizer" iz hot 2. I jus like this one better

3. Can't Believe It Remix - T-Pain ft. Justin Timberlake
Now I'm not rly a big fan of JT...but I absolutely LOVE T-pain {so innovative...lol} so anything Pain duz its jus hot 2 me. Fiyah {as mah boo wud say. Pronounced fie...lol}

4. Kiss Me Thru Tha Phone - Souljah Boy ft. Sammie
Now we all kno Souljah Boy can't rap, but his songs r always hottttt!! And Sammie?? Well, he's even hotter...esp on this song! 6, 7, 8 drippin down on ur 2-way tooooo...

5. Heartless - Kanye West
Nuff sed, right??? Lol

6. When It Hurts - Avant
Well this was kinda me & mah boo theme song 4 a min, so of course it holds a special place wit me.

7. Just Like Me - Jamie Foxx ft. T.I.
I jus love Jamie...he's good

8. If You Leave - Musiq ft. Mary J.
Such a gr8 song!!! Rly & truly..

9. Beep - Bobby V. Ft. Yung Joc
Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep!!! Hilarious, but it's an all around good song. Fun 2 dance 2...esp in tha car actin like u beepin tha horn. Dnt act like u dnt!!!! ;-)

10. She Got Her Own - Ne-Yo ft. Jamie Foxx & Fabolous
...i mean rly??? Do I hav 2 explain? Lol...

11. Pop Champagne - Jim Jones ft. Ron Brows & Juelz
Ohhhhhh!!! Lol...I swear that Ron brows dude sound like 'Ye on tha auto tune! Lol...swear it!!!

12. Told Ya So - Jesse McCartney
I ♥ this lil white boi. He sooo wants 2 be black. And he gettin down on tha music tip wit tha right ppl. Neptunes on "Leavin'" and tha Clutch on "It's Over"...which both of those songs i abso-tooda-lutely love!

13. Green Light - John Legend ft. Andre 3000
Every time this song come on I start dancin lol!! Hee hee...Andre's rap is soooo funny!

14. Let it Rock - Kevin Rudolf ft. Lil Wayne
Omg...u can h8 all u want...this song is fiyah!!! Lol...even b4 I heard tha Lil Wayne rap i was rockin out 2 it lol..then wen I heard Wayne I was like this is tha best f'n song ever!!!! Yeaaaaaahhh! In a way 2 hype white guy voice of course lol!!!

{Reverse let it rock & green light lol}

15. Roc - Beyonce
So...this song is how I feel about tha love of mah life! I mean, honestly! I made a vid 2 it & everything {1st vid I eva made}...I think I'll post it next time. But, B loves her man...it's sooooo cute!!!

16. Official Girl - Cassie
It's a good song...as long as Cassie stop dancin then I can be ok wit her as a singer!

17. Diva - Beyonce
Even tho I hav this cd...I hav 2 put this on mah mix...Beyonce is str8 up foolin! Have ya'll heard ego by the way??? That chic a fool. Love her!

18. Turn Off - Keri Hilson ft. Lil Wayne
I wonder how many times I've written Waynes name on this list. Ah well...he is hot...& so is this song!! Get wit it!!!

There's 2 more songs I 4got 2 write on this list, but mah memory is escapin me! So...thas mah mix...and i duz luv it! Lol...wat d'ya think???

~Mrs. Amillie~

2009...

I promised Bee i wud start blogging again so here i'm iz!!! {P.S. Bee no 1 can comment on ur blogs which iz prolly y u dnt have any comments lol}

I swear this gone be mah year! I've had the best start 2 this year than I've eva had. Spent tha 1st 4 dayz of tha year with tha love of mah life!! Our situation duz'n allow us 2 be 2getha like normal, but regardless, we're still very much in love! Yes we have our normal fights {distance duz'n change the arguments @ all lol}. But I love him & i kno this iz real. And it's crazy cuz most wuda sed "f it", threw in tha towel eons ago. But I guess wen u really love sum1, distance don't mean a thing. I don't feel far away 4rm him @ all. We jus realized tha otha day I been reppin tha chi evn b4 i knew anything about him or tha chi {lol}. But I kno that he's it & I'm so glad that I finally found a winner! Skip u losers that hurt me in tha past. Honestly, I gotta thank them 4 preparing mah heart 4 a relationship like this. He literally iz mah everything & I kno many people say it all the time how they can't picture life without a certain sum1, but I mean it with everything. He is mah otha half. Swear it!!!

On 2 mah frenz. I swear I love em & even tho Bee is leavin me {even tho she sed she was staying lol} I kinda feel like it's wats best 4 her. I kno that a new start in a new year will give her a new insight on love. She'll realize she won't have 2 make one-sided changez. I kno how u feel about JJ {look @ mah abbreviations lol}, but the change wud occur 2gether, not separately. I hope you don't give up on love, cuz it iz one of theee best feelings in tha world...wen it's real...wen it's right! In time, honey...in time.

So happy 4 wifey and Dee. I kno it ain't been easy 4 none of us tryna find tha real & sumtimes u think u want sumthin & realize that u already had wat u needed!

Umm...workin 2 jobs like a single parent wit 4 kids as Bee wud say. Lol...nah it's finally calmed down...I'm jus so glad that God has blessed me enough 2 have 2. And one iz a good job 2 {lol}!

This is y I'm sayin 2009 is mah year, fa sho!!! I'm happy & I'm in love...wat better combination?!

~*~Mrs. Amillie~*~