5 weeks ago I had my heart broken by the one guy I thought never would. And today, while I'm still not over it, I'm actually better. And to think that just a week ago I was crying my heart out. Heartbreak is awful, worst kind of pain. Nothing you can do to rid that pain. No vicodin. No percocet. Nothing. Just pain...but all it takes is a little time.
Time.
It heals all wounds. No matter how big or how small. The bigger the wound, the more time it takes. But the end result is still the same.
Healed.
Better.
All that's left is the scar that wound left behind. The pain is gone. The messy scab that u picked at over and over and over again until you finally just let go and let nature do what it does best is no longer there. All that's left is the smoothness of your skin as if nothing happened.
And let's be honest, some wounds heal better than others. Some may not even leave a scar while others leave a constant reminder of who, what, when and where (never why).
But I wouldn't trade my scar for the world. It just reminds me of who I am. That I love hard. And I will never change that about me no matter how many times I bleed love.
Because the thing is, that over time, that wound healed.
Yes, it hurt like hell (for lack of a better word). And in that moment you felt like you would never feel anything else but the pain you felt right then. You couldn't see past the tears and the heaving. You just didn't see how it would ever heal. You threw a bandaid on it to cover it up; act as if it wasn't there. If no one else could see it maybe it didn't exist. Put on a brave front. I'm a big girl and I've got a life that still needs to be lived so no one can see me cry. But it still hurt like hell and you still cried. But as the tears subsided and your breathing calmed, you realized that it doesn't hurt so much anymore. And, in fact, it hurt a little less each day. And somedays you would pick at it, peel the scab a little too early and it hurt again and it bled again. And maybe this time you would cry some more...but it was nowhere near like that initial hurt. Yeah, it still hurt but not like before. So then you finally decided to just let it heal. Stop picking at it so it has to start the healing process all over again & just let it be.
Just...let it...be.
And so you did. And as time went on you forgot you even had a wound to begin with until you look down and see the scar that's left behind. The only proof you have that says you went through this painful ordeal.
Then you think to yourself (sometimes, even to someone else) and say "Oh I remember when I got this scar..." And you realize that even with all the tears that little obscure scar caused, you're still standing. Still fighting. Still hopeful. Still...loving.
It's just a war wound. Another scar on your heart that will have a story behind it when you will tell it to the one who was actually MEANT for your heart. Another reason that you're as strong as you are now. Another building block...stepping stone...to the YOU that you are at this very moment. It's a badge of honor that you wear proudly and say "I never gave up. Even when it made sense to just throw in the towel, I still fought."
And fought you did. And now, you're a winner.
And while I may not personally be at the point where I'm completely healed because I just finally stopped picking at the scab...I am in a better place. And all it took was a little time.
It's cliche. But that's the thing about a cliche...they're always true in what they mean. Time, does in fact, heal all wounds. And while there may not be a cure for a broken heart just as there is no cure for the common cold, the best medicine you could give yourself is the same as for that cold...time.
5 weeks ago I had my heart broken by the one guy that I never thought would. 5 weeks later. I'm still standing.
Still fighting.
Still hopeful.
Still...loving.
And even though I didn't think I would be able to breathe again, eat again, sleep again...I am. And I have. And all it took was a little time. And soon I'll be just as happy as I was before. Healed and all. Yes, soon I'll be me again.
But for now I just look at that wound and smile because I know one day it'll be a distant memory. A constant reminder that I never changed who I was for anyone. And I will soon have what I want. What I deserve.
It will heal.
I will heal.
In time.
