Lighten up...pleez!

Some ppl dnt kno how 2 take things 4 wat they are.  If you happen 2 write sumthing about YOUR life and how ur tryna make YOURSELF better, they take it personally.  I honestly don't get that at all...wateva.  I have enuff goin on in my life than 2 sit up and make sure that wat I say duz'n offend this person or that person.  It's tiring.  

Wateva...

I'm currently single.  Not sure if we'll get back 2gether cuz tha decision is ultimately mine 2 make.  I love him...so very much.  He is tha only guy I've eva loved in this way...but he's gotta get it 2getha.  Maybe I do too...and thas wat tha purpose of this break-up is.  To give myself time 2 think and hopefully it'll give him time 2 mature.  He says that he's gonna prove it 2 me...get his ish 2getha.  One can only hope, right?

Anyway...I'm still saved...I think that if I hadn't rededicated my life back 2 God that Sunday, then this jus wud'a been so much harder 2 deal with.  I think I wud have literally been depressed.  I'm goin out wit tha wifey on her b-day.  This will be interesting seeing as I'm not gonna drink and we really don't even party like that anymore...so...we'll see.  I kno I'll have fun...I jus don't kno how it is 2 be around my frenz wen they're drunk and I'm not lol.  

I think all in all...I see a lot of growth in myself.  I learned not 2 tell everybody everything.  I learned not 2 sit up and baby everyone...cuz I'm not AlWAYS in tha wrong...I'm learning that I'm the most important person in mah life.  I do a lot for everyone and sumtimes 4get about myself.  I think this break-up cud'n have come at a better time.  And don't get me wrong. I'm sadder than that thang right now.  I'll prolly cry everyday 4 tha next month {thas tha deadline I'm giving myself} and I'll miss him like crazy....but it's wat I gotta do.  It jus it...gotta look out 4 Cristal.  Love is...on tha back burner right now.  Not tha most important thing so...thas it.  

Take it 4 wat it is....or don't.  Either way...I'ma be me!

Cristal

{to be...or not 2 be--Mrs. Amillie???}

Trust U????

Why are boys so unbelievably stupid??? I mean seriously. I honestly don't believe that I'm putting all guys in a category because all boys ARE, in fact, stupid. Like they jus didn't get that piece in their brain that females get. What the "h" are u missing??? It's so retarded. Mah love went and did the most retarded thing any guy could do {well, not the most retarded...but I'm pissed}. And his explanation was that he wanted 2 kno that I can trust him if anything else came up further down the line. ARE U INSANE???? Seriously...

It's like, after all that he's done 2 me, I shouldn't trust him. But, I let all that bull go and I do trust him. If ur gonna be wit somebody then u can't keep holding on 2 that mess, so I'm not anymore. And, if anything, I should be the one testing him 2 see if I can trust him...but I didn't. And he has the f'n audacity 2 do something like that!!! It's like...don't u kno that I'm yours...all mah f'n myspace statuses tell the world {FReE OwNz}. Don't test me...I'm get'n enough of that from my old ex who's slowly but surely tryna work his way back in {another story...lol} I'll get over it...I kno I will. I'm jus pissed. I was hurt, but wifey says I shouldn't be.

Speak'n of wifey. It's so unbelievably unfair. Like I said, boys are stupid and then u expect us 2 trust u???? I mean, come on now...

I jus came up wit this theory 2day. me and wifey were talkin and I told her:

"It seems the more a guy becomes threatened of losing you, the more dumb he gets."

And it couldn't be more true. I jus wish guys knew that tell'n the truth gets u farther than anything! Realize that and stop be'n so stupid!!! Goodness!!!

~MISS Petite~

FITS OF A SLEEPLESS NIGHT...

i wonder how many sleepless nights i've had in my lifetime all because of love. not that im blaming love 4 who i fell 4, jus simply sayin. it seems i've been here more than i should hav. and i wish there was a way 2 avoid this. but, as i kno, and anyone else who's ever suffered from heart break, i kno i must go thru this.

a thousand thots race thru my head and i wonder is this my punishment 4 falling in love. i wonder, is this the benefit. i swear i hear a million times over that he's not worth my tears, it's his loss, it'll get better and so forth. and trust me that i kno all these things already but that doesn't mean my tears will stop fallin and it doesn't mean i'll accept it better because he didn't deserve me {I mean, who does, really??}, and it surely doesn't make the time pass any faster knowin that it will get better. and trust me wen i say im no where near pessimistic. i mean u would think that after all the heart ache i've experienced that i would throw my hands up, say f it and be bitter as eva. but im not...im very optimistic but more so realistic! life does a number on u. changes u. grows u up....changes u. i dunno. i guess this is jus...fits of a sleepless night!!!